Safety is More Than Crossing the Street

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One in ten children will be sexually abused before their 18th birthday. You can never protect your child fully from ever being sexually abused, but you can do a lot to reduce your child’s vulnerability to sexual abuse and increase the chances they’ll tell you after something happens. It is just as important to talk to your kids about body safety as it is to talk to them about looking both ways before crossing the street. Given the statistics, your child is much more likely to be molested than to be hit by a car when crossing the street.

Ways of Approaching the Conversation

1. Frame the conversation for yourself as a way of loving your child. You don’t want to scare them (or yourself) in the process. Try starting from a loving place and not a scared place to help create the calm environment for your child. Speak from a calm, casual, and loving frame of mind when having these conversations. Reading books together can be a helpful bridge into these topics. Check out the bookstore to find one that feels like a good fit.
2. Begin talking to them as young as 2 years old. This may seem very early but children under 12 are most at risk at 4 years old. Young children understand and remember a lot more than adults usually realize. For example, when giving a bath, tell them where their private parts are and that the parent is seeing and touching them to clean them but that normally nobody should.
3. Teach them the actual names of their private parts. When you begin teaching them parts of their body like ears, eyes, and toes, also teach them the real names of their private parts like “vagina” and “penis” and not their “cute” names. This gives them the right words to use if someone is hurting them and makes sure the person being told understands what’s happening.
4. Teach them that private parts are special. When talking about this topic, it’s important to not create a taboo or dirty feeling around their private parts. Instead parents can teach their child that their private parts are so special that they’re just for them and no one else, unless someone is helping them keep their private parts clean, safe, or healthy.
5. Explain that NO ONE should physically hurt them, and they should trust their instincts. 90% of child sexual abuse is perpetrated by someone they know. It can be anyone. Unfortunately, nobody is on the safe list. In fact, children are most vulnerable with family members and acquaintances. Make sure your child knows that no one can hurt their bodies no matter who they’re with – even when they’re with their parent. Support your child in trusting their gut instinct. By trusting their intuition, children will both be more empowered around making their own choices about who’s safe instead of relying primarily on what a parent told them.

But Here’s the Most Important Thing To Do. If you remember nothing else, remember this – these conversations should be ongoing, open, and casual.

For more information on keeping kids safe, visit our website at www.dakotacac.org
call (701) 323-5626.

This post was recently published in the Dakota Catholic Action.